


The Servant Problem

by spikewriter



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2014-12-30
Packaged: 2018-03-03 22:11:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2889752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spikewriter/pseuds/spikewriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The minion stared dumbly at Spike, leading him to wonder -- not for the first time -- what it was about becoming a vampire that made stupid people even more sodding stupid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Servant Problem

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written as my August 12, 2005 Word of the Day, this falls into the same cycle as [A Chance Encounter](http://archiveofourown.org/works/154849), especially where Darla and Spike's relationship is concerned.

**ubiquitous** \yoo-BIK-wih-tuhs\, _adjective:_  
Existing or being everywhere, or in all places, at the same time.

_Ubiquitous derives_ , via French, from Latin _ubique,_ "everywhere," from _ubi,_ "where." The noun form is _ubiquity._

***

"So, what you're telling me, is that far from being unknown in this location, watchers are, in fact, a ubiquitous feature."

The minion stared dumbly at Spike, leading him to wonder -- not for the first time -- what it was about becoming a vampire that made stupid people even more sodding stupid. "You do know what 'ubiquitous' means, don't you? You-bik-qui-tus -- signifying something that's so common it appears to be everywhere."

Darla snickered from where she and Drusilla were looking at fashion plates. Spike decided not to give her the satisfaction of acknowledging her amusement. She didn't like the way he ran his minions, she could just take off on her own. Bad enough she'd been in a permanently piss-poor mood since China and Angelus disapearing for what looked to be good; he and Dru would be far better off without her.

Taking a deep breath, he resisted the urge to simply twist the minion's head off his shoulders. "The Watchers, far from being a rare occurrence, are thick on the ground, is that it?" Still that stare. "There are a lot of them."

That got a nod. "A whole lot; at least ten or twenty. I saw them at a cafe down by the shore when I went looking for a victim."

Which Spike had specifically told him not to do because that area was too well populated with a crowd who would raise a hue and cry if people started disappearing. It'd taken about twenty-five years, but Spike had learned the wisdom of not starting a row every time they hit a new town. The docks, on the other hand, with its transient denizens was a different matter.

"So you saw this crowd of watchers down at a cafe. You say there were twenty?"

The mnion shifted slightly. "Maybe ten."

"Maybe ten," Spike repeated, ensuring that he made eye contact.

The minion looked nervous. "Five," he admitted at last.

"Five watchers. Fine. How do you know they were watchers?"

"They were talking."

This time, when Darla snickered, Dru giggled with her. "What were they talking about?" Spike asked through gritted teeth.

"Oh, this great vampire hunter named Van Helsing..."

Spike reached out and twisted, brushing the dust from his hands when he was done. "I think I'm beginning to understand why Angelus didn't care for minions."

He knew looking at Darla was a mistake the moment he saw that look on her face. "I still haven't figured out how he managed to avoid staking you."

Dru giggled again. God, he loved domestic scenes like this.


End file.
